if tomorrow

living with guilt, my presence makes me vomit

a shade of black 

I see it everywhere

mistakes up my sleeves

eyes dripping of salt

the tears have aged, they don’t see meaning to this anymore

I force out a sob

it’s been a tough day, but when hasn’t it?

the music has stopped, the instrument has gone

but the sounds remain

empty feeling crawling up to the neck

like waves on the beach, they’re coming towards me

if tomorrow I don’t wake up, don’t sing for me

the dead cannot listen

don’t write me a letter, the words are cheaper than lies

feel me, in your chest

an ache, a hollowness

I reside in you as a body of someone’s thoughts

it never left me, it’ll never leave you

until you go crazy from the pain

if tomorrow I don’t wake up

don’t get scared of my body

i’m just tired

my skin changing colours from overworking my mind

so vast it turned into the sea

the night sky has lost its meaning

-nn